there was a trapeze. enough said
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
