Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
