tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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