what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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