I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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