This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
