i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize