I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
