How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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