You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
