i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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