he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize