garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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