I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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