her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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