she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
