I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You made out with two different species that night
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
