yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
