god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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