so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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