If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
