Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
