Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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