we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
