And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
