Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Your cock deserves a montage
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
