A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
