would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
