Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
