Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
