He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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