So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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