He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
