Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
