Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
