Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
