I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
