if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(