yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
