is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
