The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
