Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
