Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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