Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
