i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
