i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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