I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
