you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
