I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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