I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we're making bets on your personal life
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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