I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
