why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize