"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
