can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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