Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
