You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
