I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pooping to opera.
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