a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
