I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
