is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
