i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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