She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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